Day 18

Dear Stacy,

I had a sweet conversation last night with our friend Eric, and he said something in passing that stuck with me: carpe diem. Words to live by, no doubt. Now before you start laying into me for my sad little picture I want you to know that there are some beautiful "carpe diem" images available on Google but they tend to be full of rainbows and unicorns and I am not in the mood to hear about your leprechaun phobia. Besides, we are more scribble it on a pad of paper kind of chicks anyway...don't you think?

My point is that I don't think I am seizing the day with this experiment. You may be the one in the casts, but I have been limping through this and didn't even realize it! The food that I have been eating has been more of a crutch than a true experiment, and we are seeking enlightenment here!!! Those magic mushrooms? I have become so addicted to them because they ARE steaky good, but I think that I am missing the point. I have been looking for things to replace what I DON'T have instead of trying to relish the new things I CAN have! My fingers are so swollen from that damned Nama Shoyu.

I know we touched on this yesterday, but I think it is beyond nuts...and I don't mean crazy!

Jill

PS Why does spell check want me to change carpe diem to crap diem? What does that mean? Crappy day??????

Dear Kindred Spirit & Maker of Perfect Pictures,

You are SPOT ON. I woke up this morning and asking "Why don't I feel happy & light?" But more importantly - "WHY HAVEN'T I LOST 20LBS YET????" In just 4 days we'll have been on raw DOUBLE the time we were on raw green smoothies and I have yet to get into that magical state of being where everything and everyone seems MEANT and DIVINE. I mean isn't that the point of doing this? And if we aren't getting there, why bother being raw at all?

Yesterday, as I "snacked" on my maybe NOT SO MAGIC mushrooms (even after saying I wouldn't) the adjectives that came to mind were: fatty, salty, dense, meaty, and heavy. It hit me- that's exactly how I feel. It's true - WE REALLY ARE WHAT WE EAT. The adjectives at least. You're right, Jill- we've been catering to our food addictions instead of our bodies/spirits. Each meal- when I shoulda been asking "What does my body NEED?" -I've been thinking "OOOH WHAT CAN I MAKE THAT'LL TRICK ME INTO BELIEVING I'M HAVING TASTY COOKED FOODS???" We need to see dehydrated/nutty/salty/fatty raw foods for what they are: SPECIAL OCCASION FOODS. Because basically my friend, we've been having Thanksgiving every day and wondering why we feel the way we do. I think the answer is simple: We get back to REAL raw food. Yeah, maybe once a week we make a special meal that feels like a treat - but maybe we stop being children and expecting every meal to be our birthday. Maybe we stop worshipping our dehydrators and start seeing them for what they are- ovens.

So hell yeah, I'm ready to start PHASE TWO of the great RAW EXPERIMENT!!! Ready to eat to live and not live to eat. Ready to expand my fruit/soup/salad repertoire and ready to feel LIGHT! Carpe Diem INDEED!