'LICIOUS DISHES

Steve decided that all he wanted to do on Saturday was see Inception so we took the number 19 bus to the Dole Cannery which turned out to be this really surreal empty mall/office building hybrid. Despite it being the weekend - the only people we saw - sat at tables playing some kind of D&D game. No one was talking - just slapping cards down. We walked down empty halls - passed weird closed stores while creepy music played. I swear if zombies had suddenly came slow walking towards me - it would've totally made sense. We had planned to grab lunch before the movie but didn't count on the only food being in the half closed prisony looking food court. Suddenly Steve let's out a whoop and says "LICIOUS DISHES! LICIOUS DISHES!" What the hell?

Turns out he had read (and forgotten obviously until that moment) that "Licious Dishes" - the the only raw food place in all of Oahu just happens to be in the Dole Cannery! SCORE!

We opened the door and walked straight into a kitchen with two women prepping food -

Turns out - it's not a restaurant - more like one of those raw delivery services (like Rawvolution)

We got to meet the wonderful owner Sylvia Thompson (right) who first discovered raw in 2005 when she ate at PURE FOOD & WINE (my fave raw books are by those guys.) Despite being really busy prepping orders - she took the time to show us what they were making - we got an up close look at the AMAZING raw burger patties. (drool)

LUCKY for us they have a fridge chok full of raw goodness -

We wanted to try everything!

We got a veggie burger, lasagna, a tomato salad, flax seed crackers and a layer bean dip (did I mention we were starving?)

We also got this Kombucha stuff they serve in a cool mason jar but I aint gonna lie - it looked thick and scary.

By the time she threw in a free bag of kale chips, I was shaking with joy. We took our raw booty and found a table next to the weirdos -

And lemme tell you - it was crazy good. The burger wasn't just the best raw burger - but the best burger EVER. The raw mustard & mayo - DELICIOUS! The layered bean dip was party worthy. And that Kambucha was the best damn beverage I've ever had. It was fizzy and sweet and not like the commercial Kambucha I've tried from Whole Foods. Steve - after just a few bites and sips turns to me and says - "You can really feel the energy!" (which was saying a lot considering the exhausting hours he worked that week) It was true - each bite seemed to fill us with this crazy good energy and joy. We hadn't felt that with any cooked meal we'd had so far. Ya know Jill - I broke the raw experiment thinking that I would feel relieved - that cooked food would taste SOOOOO GOOOD after so many weeks of raw... but it didn't. (okay maybe the spicy garlic shrimp plate - that was nuttygood) But for the most part - nothing did it for me like this meal did. Nothing after that tasted that good. Raw food TASTES better than cooked to me now. I guess you can call that progress.

The MEAN Green Machine

All I wanted to do was make some damn corn chips - using a recipe from RAW FOOD REAL WORLD but it was as if I was in a nightmare - one where you're trying to accomplish something but have endless complications like - crumbling teeth or you can't find your pants.

It wasn't until after I'd de-kernelled about 6 ears of corn - that I realized - I don't have a food processor to process said corn. Now you might be asking how the hell have I managed to be raw without a food processor and all I can say is.... that's a good question. You also might be asking yourself how come I didn't realize I needed a food processor until I'm 20 minutes into chopping? Well, that's because when I read a recipe, I tend to only read the list of ingredients needed - and stop there. I never make it to the equipment needed part or the sprouting/fermenting/dehydrating times. Meaning that most of the time I follow a recipe, it turns into an I Love Lucy episode but without the laugh track. So now, with a huge bowl of corn sitting on my counter - I realize I can't use my crappy blender because there's no liquid in the recipe and because it's a crappy blender. But some neurons fire and I remember that not only do I own a GREEN POWER MACHINE but it has mincing capabilities! I feel smug and frankly relieved because Graves bought it for me ten years ago when I first discovered raw and it's been like this touchstone of shame - I had declared that raw was IT and I would be eating this way for the rest of my life so I NEEDED THE GREEN MACHINE - ALL $350 WORTH! Sadly/pathetically I've used it twice. I was looking forward to redemption.

I'm sorry to admit it but it took me awhile to find. Even longer to locate the attachments. Sadly it was covered in shmutz and took another ten minutes to clean. Then it hit me that I had no idea which attachment was for mincing or how it connected to the machine. So I spent thirty minutes looking for the manual. Another 20 searching for it online. Then back to searching the same places I searched before - until finally I stood in the middle of kitchen, hands dramatically over my eyes (just like they did in the Dr. Who: Fires of Pompeii episode) trying to use my psychic powers to summon the manual to me. And it must've worked because a mere 20 minutes later, I HAD THE MANUAL! And after studying it for awhile, I FINALLY figure out how to use it. (again) VOILA! IT'S SMUSHING FOOD! The corn turns to corn mush, the red pepper into red pepper mush, the onions go in and Jill, let me tell you, I'm feeling good knowing that FINALLY I'm going to get my money out of this sucker!

It's right about then, that I grab a cup of flax seeds, pour them cockily in the chute and machine literally grinds to a halt. I'm speechless. I let out a "Wha hoppin?" I spend twenty minutes trying to get the attachment OFF so I can get the flax seed OUT. Tears of frustration and shame were shed. I spend another thirty minutes trying to get that drill dealie out of that plastic thingie but the flax seeds have formed a kind of super glue and melded the two pieces together. It becomes clear that I've some how managed to to screw up yet again. Only later, when Graves comes home to no corn chips, a flax seed covered kitchen and and a broken $350. barely used appliance do I learn that one is never ever supposed to put flax seeds in the Green Machine.

Never. Ever. Ever.

Huh. Good to know.

As he walked way, shaking his head, I could have sworn I heard him exclaim "Oh Lucy."

Waaaaaaa!

Day 21 Confessions of a Raw Loser

Okay jill,

good news - bad news:
The good news - i have today's post.
The bad news?
I broke.

I contemplated not telling you or anyone else. I thought for the good of the blog and to save face - I'll just pretend it never happened. Who will know, right? But this morning, I knew I'd never be able to live with the lie. Besides it's not fair to raw food - because I'd be claiming things worked or didn't work raw wise knowing that I threw a curve ball into the experiment.

While I can't divulge ALL that happened yesterday - let's just say that after seeing a sad Facebook status update, I invited a gal over for a "pick me up" chat. Soon we were sitting in the magic garden and she started to share with me how her husband has lung cancer and has been dying for the past 15 months. She hasn't slept almost as long and there's tons of drama and so of course, she's completely stressed/wacked out of her mind. Who wouldn't be, right? Wine was ingested. Too much wine for sure.

And food was needed for my guest. Pot stickers were made. She had them while I snacked on my veggie plate. By the time she left, I was chok full of complicated emotions and fears. I hobbled back up to the cabin and without thought I ate six pot stickers- one right after the other - it was beyond my control. There was no pleasure involved. No enjoyment whatsoever. Just ingestion. Call it existential apathetic eating. Call it whatever you want - bottom line is I broke and feel awful about it.

I hope it helps that I am wearing a giant scarlet L for all the world to see. And more importantly, I hope you can forgive me.

MAGIC MUSHROOMS

Jill, I know you are vegan and we haven't really discussed WHAT I am - so I'd like to take a moment and make a confession. I am a fakeatarian - meaning I love animals, don't believe in killing them and find the idea of eating flesh repulsive-

---- AND barbecue and bacon taste like magic to me.

There I said it. I'm not proud of it but they say you're only as sick as your secrets right? The truth is that many of the years that I claimed to be vegetarian - were spent secretly salivated over barbecue'd steak or coveting other people's BLT's. Over time I came to realize that THAT secret was more hypocritical than actually partaking in IT every blue moon. No, I don't have meat in my house, I don't order it when I go out to eat, I can't really look at it raw but sometimes when I go back home to Texas and my brother Tony makes his nutty amazing carne asada- I don't pretend anymore that it grosses me out. Instead, I chow down cave woman style. I figure giving into my weakness every once in awhile keeps me humble and human. And yes, I've also learned to enjoy substitutes like fake bacon and grilled Portobello and actually love them as much if not more than the real thing. But now we're raw and I find myself wishing I could figure out a raw substitute for a grilled portobello (which is a substitute for grilled steak) And ya know what? I think I've found it. I just marinate sliced portobello mushrooms a few hours in Nama Shoyu, a little apple cider vinegar, olive oil, some spices and just one drop of that liquid smoke which - okay may not be raw (and yes maybe it's actually a carcinogenic) but I don't care, it gives them the grilled flavor I so love. Then I dehydrate them for a few hours (until they look/taste great) and I swear when they come out, they satisfy my meaty needs. The other night when Graves and our friend Larry ordered pizza (I wanted to punch them in their stupid, stupid guts) I ordered the house salad (w/out croutons or eggs) and I topped it with some of my meaty magic mushrooms and let me tell you- they made that boring ass salad TASTE EVER SO GOOD! Almost as satisfying as pepperoni pizza. Well....ALMOST.

ps I know that those aren't portobello slices - all I had were button mushrooms which are fine but no where as good and meaty as portobello.