All Good Things Must End

Dear Stacy,

Yes, it's true. As I begin wrapping up my 90 days of raw, I believe that the mutual infatuation Robert and I have shared has run its course (and I swear it isn't because of this picture!!)

Okay, the picture doesn't help.

We've had some good times in this blog. The best moment for me, hands down, was when my sister informed me that my Mom was in a snit because I was dating this "Rob" person.

Oh yeah...I'm serious.

As far as raw is concerned, I get asked daily if I will continue to eat raw after my time is up. It's a fair question, and at this point I want to continue mulling it over before I make a commitment.

You wanna know how I felt the day after last weeks victorious 3 mile run? I needed a wheelchair for 3 days to recover!!!! By day 4, I was feeling better and ran for 3.5 miles, stopping only because I don't want to sadistically push myself anymore. I am focusing hard on being happy with 3 miles, and accepting that I probably won't ever be a marathon runner. I am more than a little amazed that I don't have any aches or pains after running these last few days. I wonder if the supplements I started taking have contributed to that...

So here I sit in my kitchen, on day 78, feeling a little melancholy... puzzled over what life will be like outside the confines of this blog and these 90 days.

Maybe it won't be any different at all. I know that I will still use my Edward Cullen cup for my green smoothies (some rituals are worth holding on to.) But the truth is, much like the way I felt after seeing Robert in his scarf and little black socks, I'm afraid it's not gonna feel the same.

'LICIOUS DISHES

Steve decided that all he wanted to do on Saturday was see Inception so we took the number 19 bus to the Dole Cannery which turned out to be this really surreal empty mall/office building hybrid. Despite it being the weekend - the only people we saw - sat at tables playing some kind of D&D game. No one was talking - just slapping cards down. We walked down empty halls - passed weird closed stores while creepy music played. I swear if zombies had suddenly came slow walking towards me - it would've totally made sense. We had planned to grab lunch before the movie but didn't count on the only food being in the half closed prisony looking food court. Suddenly Steve let's out a whoop and says "LICIOUS DISHES! LICIOUS DISHES!" What the hell?

Turns out he had read (and forgotten obviously until that moment) that "Licious Dishes" - the the only raw food place in all of Oahu just happens to be in the Dole Cannery! SCORE!

We opened the door and walked straight into a kitchen with two women prepping food -

Turns out - it's not a restaurant - more like one of those raw delivery services (like Rawvolution)

We got to meet the wonderful owner Sylvia Thompson (right) who first discovered raw in 2005 when she ate at PURE FOOD & WINE (my fave raw books are by those guys.) Despite being really busy prepping orders - she took the time to show us what they were making - we got an up close look at the AMAZING raw burger patties. (drool)

LUCKY for us they have a fridge chok full of raw goodness -

We wanted to try everything!

We got a veggie burger, lasagna, a tomato salad, flax seed crackers and a layer bean dip (did I mention we were starving?)

We also got this Kombucha stuff they serve in a cool mason jar but I aint gonna lie - it looked thick and scary.

By the time she threw in a free bag of kale chips, I was shaking with joy. We took our raw booty and found a table next to the weirdos -

And lemme tell you - it was crazy good. The burger wasn't just the best raw burger - but the best burger EVER. The raw mustard & mayo - DELICIOUS! The layered bean dip was party worthy. And that Kambucha was the best damn beverage I've ever had. It was fizzy and sweet and not like the commercial Kambucha I've tried from Whole Foods. Steve - after just a few bites and sips turns to me and says - "You can really feel the energy!" (which was saying a lot considering the exhausting hours he worked that week) It was true - each bite seemed to fill us with this crazy good energy and joy. We hadn't felt that with any cooked meal we'd had so far. Ya know Jill - I broke the raw experiment thinking that I would feel relieved - that cooked food would taste SOOOOO GOOOD after so many weeks of raw... but it didn't. (okay maybe the spicy garlic shrimp plate - that was nuttygood) But for the most part - nothing did it for me like this meal did. Nothing after that tasted that good. Raw food TASTES better than cooked to me now. I guess you can call that progress.

Run Bitch, Run!

Dear Stacy,

I seem to have run out of things to say about being raw, and just when I was ready to give up on this weeks post, something marvelous happened. I have been waking up around 5:00 am every morning to walk on my treadmill, and it's interesting because I keep very late hours and should be too tired, but this pre-dawn ritual has turned into the second best part of my day!

Todays walk was different. I had covered about a 1/4 of a mile when I had the bright idea to start running. It felt pretty good, so I made a pact with myself to run for 1 mile straight without stopping...just to see if I could do it. It started to wear thin about 1/2 mile in, but I'm pretty stubborn, so I pushed it. By the time I reached the mark I was seriously starting to percolate!

Oh Yeah!!! I'd forgotten that running is a nightmare for the first 15 minutes, but if you stick it out everything just opens up and you can fly!! I figured that I had come this far, I might as well do another 1/2 mile...or hell, maybe a whole one. I was beginning to remember all of the handpicked running songs on my Ipod that had been neglected for two whole years.

My very favorite: Eminem's "Lose Yourself."

"Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted, one moment, would you capture it or just let it slip away?"

Well, Hell YES, Eminem, I'm gonna capture it right here in this moment!!! As I pass the 2 mile mark I start contemplating going for 3...all I have had to eat is a green smoothie but I am feeling it, so why not? My whole body is tingling from the endorphin release, and yet I'm conflicted because the obsessive compulsive in me KNOWS that I walked the first 1/4 mile. If I want to say that I actually ran for 3 miles straight, then I'm gonna have to stretch it to 3 1/4 miles.

Dammit! This is how I have always run....stupid mental mind games!! So I said, "shit, I hate myself," and kept going.

I was seriously laughing when I finished, and I couldn't help but think of all the unexpected ways that these 71 days of raw have changed me. It's been pretty well documented on the pages of this blog that I desperately wanted to find my power, and I can't believe that I am about to say this, but that is exactly what I have found!

So in honor of the great Eminem, I leave you with these words of wisdom..may they inspire you as they have me:

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo!

The Little Differences

Dear Stacy,

At first I hated the idea of us having a different record for our 90 days of raw experiment, but maybe we have different finish lines to cross. For two people with so very much in common, these past two months have brought to light our many differences! For one thing we don't make our green smoothies the same way. You use parsley, watermelon, coconut oil, banana, dates, lemon and salt..I can't believe you drag out all of that stuff for a smoothie!!! Man, I could never go to the trouble. Give me my butter lettuce and frozen peaches. That's it. No more. No less.

Another difference is that, with the exception of the first two weeks, this has been really easy for me. I credit being held accountable by this blog for adding a good dose of pressure, but once I figured out how to "cook" something on the fly, I just went on auto-pilot. I am a serious creature of habit and am happy having just a few favorites to choose from. Especially if they are easy to make, like nori rolls stuffed with veggies.

But I have to be honest Stacy, and you're gonna be glad that we don't have this in common, there is a real deficiency in the way I have approached eating raw. I don't get nearly the variety of foods that I should, and as much as I hate to admit this, I have quite a few more bruises than your average person. I'm not gonna go into too much detail but lets just say that that pole I ran into at Starbucks couldn't possible have done all this. No, the only logical explanation for all of these bruises is that I am not getting what I need out of my diet.

So, I ran crying to the health food store where they loaded me up on all kinds of funky stuff to keep me healthy. I've got powdered "super foods", B-12, Super Silica and something called "Vanilla Spice." Even with my glasses on I can't read the vanilla spice bottle so I really don't know what it is although I can make out the words, "hormones, fertility, energy and strength," on the label. The directions are my favorite part! They instruct me to feel free to "add any amount," to a smoothie. Any amount? With all of the mystery, and at $33.25 a bottle, I am pretty sure it will save me. I guess being raw means I don't do Centrum, but Okay! I am here to experience this lifestyle so I am gonna go with it.

NO APOLOGY THIS TIME...

Jill - this is not a confession to you because you already know - it's more of a statement for our dear readers (all 19 of them):

I BROKE THE RAW EXPERIMENT.

I had great intentions of staying raw on my vacation to Hawaii. I really did. Sure I was scared but I brought avocados and a lemon on the plane with me. I lost my boot for my lame foot somehow but that didn't stop me from hobbling to the not so near Food Pantry where a small tub of tomatoes runs for 9.00. I lugged back some fruit and a bag of coleslaw - and tried to fit it in the tiny hotel fridge with it's non shutting door. Then I came down with this crappy cold and my get up and go just got up and went. I sat alone in my hotel room and assessed my situation: no knife, no cutting board, no big fridge to hold produce, no blender, no dishes, can't walk, no car, no access to affordable produce. No nearby salad bars -and I refuse to pay 18 for a small fruit salad from room service. I made the decision - that it's crazy for me to beat myself up for breaking raw under these circumstances.

I will say - I was surprised to find - that I really do PREFER raw foods to cooked. I miss raw green smoothies like you wouldn't believe. I crave them. I didn't expect that. I surprise myself daily - despite being off the experiment - I choose a fruit bowl instead of chips at the snack bar while visiting Hamahaalalalyoa Bay (not the real name - who knows what it was) I almost passed out when the one morning we did have a car - Steve found a juice bar and I had a cucumber, spinach, honeydew, lemon, celery juice. I felt amazing after it. I'm gleeful to discover that the ABC store in the hotel offers tubs of pineapple that make a great breakfast. But when at the North Shore - Silverman, Jim and I stopped at some famous shrimp truck - and my choices were lemon shrimp, garlic shrimp or fried shrimp -

I was happy I didn't have to make like some raw martyr and watch them eat while I pretended the wafting garlic smell wasn't driving me wild. (BTW best damn shrimp I've ever had)

Jill, I have to tell you - it was SUCH A RELIEF to have broken the experiment - and NOT because I wanted cooked foods but because I realized that part of the reason I was struggling so much with the experiment for the past few weeks and was feeling such intense pressure was because I lived with a daily fear about breaking and causing YOU to have to start over. When I broke the last time - and you turned the day counter back to 1 for BOTH of us - yes it was one of those heartwarming moments - not unlike the story of the mentally challenged kid who's winning the race but stops and goes back to help the other mentally challenged kid who fell and is crying in the dirt. Everyone cheers as they cross the finish line together. At the time - it felt like that - and I was touched and grateful. But the past month - I've felt more like Vincent D'Onofrio in Full Metal Jacket after the jelly doughnut was discovered in his footlocker.

Knowing you are the reason why the whole platoon gets punished - is a horrible fate. I see now that for the past few weeks - I've been the fat guy, lying in my bunk - worrying about the next day. Not because of the challenge itself - but fear that I will not live up to the experiment and blow it for you. I so didn't want to be the weak one - AGAIN. While it's true you've never tied me in my bunk and beaten me with a sock full of soap bars - let me tell you, the pressure was there.

But now that I broke - and we've decided that you are not only going to keep your numbers- but add the 20 days you lost the last time - I'm so relieved. And now - I can jump back on the raw train and feel I'm doing it for all the right reasons. I know it seems paradoxical but BECAUSE I've broken - I see more than ever - raw is the way for me. I do hope that I can someday achieve 90 straight days of raw - but whether I do or not - I've gotten soooo much out of this - I can't help but be grateful. At least I didn't end up like Private Lawrence...

Gangsta Bitch Barbie

This post has nothing to do with Gangsta Bitch Barbie. I was looking for a nice Barbie picture when I saw Gangsta Gal and I simply had to have her. Every time I see her I laugh a little bit harder...almost to the point of being manic. I love her. She deserves her time in the spotlight.

Dear Stacy,

Being a full-time student has turned me into "missing-in-action Barbie." And when I have a bit of a high and a low to deliver, like now, I like to take "Good news/Bad news Barbie" off of her plastic stand.

Bad news: that text you sent me while I was in US History that said: "for the first time ever there was no email from Nipper...my head is spinning," caught me in the jugular. While I admit that I am the worst kind of friend to have during the school year, I am a little surprised that it is already showing.

Good news: I have noticed a difference in the way that I interact with all these gorgeous 20 year olds on campus. I am pretty positive that it is a result of this whole adventure that you and I have been on.

So how am I tracing our raw adventure to hanging out with the cool kids in the back of the bus? Stacy, you know that I like to be in control of myself, and the fact that I have made it to day 36 of this raw adventure has earned me a good dose of self respect. I didn't realize that I had lost faith in myself until I felt it coming back, and this fills me with happiness.

So, I have noticed at school that instead of being hyper aware of myself during conversations, my mind and heart are free to focus on the exchanges themselves. I feel like I have been released from a cage and am finally able to just experience people openly, and without any degree of self consciousness.

I love reaching out and squeezing my friends on the arm while we talk, and in some cases giving them a spontaneous hug. This is new for me, and yes it's not exactly headline worthy, but in my little world? This is fulfillment.

All from eating raw?

Yeah, I think so...and being friends with you.

Nipper

MAGIC KELP NOODLES!

So Saturday I was ready to THROW IN THE RAW TOWEL. Wrote Jill confessing that I didn't know how much longer I could go on this damn crazy experiment. It's not like I'm wanting to run out and eat a Monte Christo - I just want to be able to throw some beans on my salad or maybe a slice of really good sprouted bread. (Or ya know some grilled chicken with steamed broccoli in a lemon butter sauce... drool) Don't get me wrong - I REALLY love raw. I BELIEVE in it. I truly believe that I look/feel better. I look younger and even though the scale/my pants doesn't/don't quite show it - I am smaller or maybe I'm not but it has put me in touch with my body in ways that no other diet/exercise program ever has- and I'm really learning to love it AS IS... which for anyone who knows me - knows this is probably the HUGEST mind change of my life. AND I wanna eat some pasta. But JUST when I was about to say I'M DONE - an angel swooped in and opened my eyes to a new raw delight that might just save me. Sunday on the set of Pretty - it was pizza day. I had brought a tub of cherry tomatoes, an avocado and grapefruit. I figured a little oil and vinegar and I'd have me a great salad. But my friend Kirsten surprised me with lunch from LIFE ORGANIC! : 2 different 'pasta' dishes, chili with a dollop of 'sour cream' and a sandwich. I was over the moon. The sandwich was good and hearty and the chili TASTED JUST LIKE DELICIOUS CHILI! (I could see this being the PERFECT meal on a cold winter's night. (especially if you topped it with diced onions and jalapenos) But the revelation was the KELP NOODLES. I was so skeptical at first. Thought for sure they were going to look/smell/taste like fish intestines. So imagine my ecstasy when I took a bite of the pesto pasta and it tasted like PESTO PASTA! Suddenly, a dozen ideas came to mind and my world opened up in a brand new way. I'm looking forward to ALFREDO PASTA and PAD THAI or just with olive oil and garlic w/ black olives and lemon zest. The great news is if tomorrow the experiment ended - I'd still prefer kelp noodles (packed full of calcium and other minerals) to real pasta (which translates to PASTE - and that's exactly what it's like in the body) - I don't know why this makes me so happy. I guess because slowly I'm learning to replace my favorite foods - with crazy healthy raw versions that I actually prefer. I am starting to see when the experiment ends - I'm still going to be eating mostly raw. How great is that?