Run Bitch, Run!

Dear Stacy,

I seem to have run out of things to say about being raw, and just when I was ready to give up on this weeks post, something marvelous happened. I have been waking up around 5:00 am every morning to walk on my treadmill, and it's interesting because I keep very late hours and should be too tired, but this pre-dawn ritual has turned into the second best part of my day!

Todays walk was different. I had covered about a 1/4 of a mile when I had the bright idea to start running. It felt pretty good, so I made a pact with myself to run for 1 mile straight without stopping...just to see if I could do it. It started to wear thin about 1/2 mile in, but I'm pretty stubborn, so I pushed it. By the time I reached the mark I was seriously starting to percolate!

Oh Yeah!!! I'd forgotten that running is a nightmare for the first 15 minutes, but if you stick it out everything just opens up and you can fly!! I figured that I had come this far, I might as well do another 1/2 mile...or hell, maybe a whole one. I was beginning to remember all of the handpicked running songs on my Ipod that had been neglected for two whole years.

My very favorite: Eminem's "Lose Yourself."

"Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted, one moment, would you capture it or just let it slip away?"

Well, Hell YES, Eminem, I'm gonna capture it right here in this moment!!! As I pass the 2 mile mark I start contemplating going for 3...all I have had to eat is a green smoothie but I am feeling it, so why not? My whole body is tingling from the endorphin release, and yet I'm conflicted because the obsessive compulsive in me KNOWS that I walked the first 1/4 mile. If I want to say that I actually ran for 3 miles straight, then I'm gonna have to stretch it to 3 1/4 miles.

Dammit! This is how I have always run....stupid mental mind games!! So I said, "shit, I hate myself," and kept going.

I was seriously laughing when I finished, and I couldn't help but think of all the unexpected ways that these 71 days of raw have changed me. It's been pretty well documented on the pages of this blog that I desperately wanted to find my power, and I can't believe that I am about to say this, but that is exactly what I have found!

So in honor of the great Eminem, I leave you with these words of wisdom..may they inspire you as they have me:

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo!